Through the Ages

People today seem to pride themselves as being the most advanced civilization to have inhabited the earth, as if technology, scientific knowledge and the amount of time we waste thinking about things that don't matter are the measure of how far we've come. On the contrary, I believe the progression of society is more accurately gauged by how well we practice civility amongst ourselves. Let's take war, for example. Twenty-thousand years ago, barbarians were slinging rocks at each other in their moments of anger and blood-lust. Eight-thousand years ago, Ancient Greece battled it out with the spear and bow and arrow. Today, our warfare is even more advanced, with missiles, guns and bombs. The damage we inflict is greater than ever before. Therefore, I think it is safe to say that our civilization has regressed, rather than progressed.

Our lack of civility has gotten so bad, in fact, that I don't think it can get any worse. I am hopeful that, in a matter of years, our civilization will turn around and begin its journey toward the pinnacle of human intelligence. In 2,000 years, instead of bombing each other's countries and gunning down their armies, nations will be launching cannon balls at each other's capitols, and soldiers will be flinging rocks at each other once again. Soon, the fighting will progress to the use of potatoes and pumpkins rather than rocks and cannon balls, and the winners will be determined by who is the least discolored from blood and bruises. Gradually, the use of potatoes will turn to grapes, until the battle is almost an artistic expression of what war used to be. Soon after that, irate countries will settle their differences in massive filled stadiums where the two sides' dancers will emote to classical music, engaging the use of props, fireworks and sparklers to portray the tragedy of war. The winners will be the most captivating performance, chosen by a panel of non-partisan judges. This artistic expression of war will eventually take to the theatre, where small audiences observe the countries' dramatized argument. Eventually, the leaders of the countries themselves will take on the responsibility of dancing for their country's dignity, until the spectacle is dissolved altogether, and disagreements are instead handled over tea and crumpets. The winner is the best-mannered individual who can sip his tea the quietest.

- Carly