So I've been thinking a lot about transformations lately. It's a mind-blowing topic, if you think about it. I mean, isn't it amazing that you can take a beautiful dark, sleek Hispanic woman like Salma Hayek, put her in an orange helmet and reflective safety vest, and all of a sudden, she's a dork? You can try it on yourself, too. Get in your classiest Banana Republic outfit. Your shirt is crisp, your pants creased. You're lookin' so good you want to date yourself. Now strap on the helmet, wriggle on the safety vest (if you don't have one, you can borrow mine), and, for an even better effect, velcro a pant leg strap to your ankle or roll up one pant leg. Congratulations, you're a dork!
Okay, let's think about something else that transforms. How about this guy, Ben Buster, who is a dedicated World of Warcraft player. He's bragging to his buddies that he's made 99,000 kills on World of Warcraft. Whoa. That is a lot. Everyone is impressed. But then he makes his 100,000th kill and—oh, all of a sudden he's a loser. Pushed it too far, man! Pushed it too far.
Now here's something that I think more people can relate with: Moms. Moms are great, aren't they? (Don't worry; I calculated: we're as far away from Mother's Day as metaphysically possible right now.) No, they're not. Here's the truth: Moms are great when you're doing what they want you to do, like cleaning your room, having a job, getting good grades. But bring home a report card of straight F's, and do they turn from a wonderful, loving human mother to a shrieking Tyrannosaurus Rex. Do they ever. “Bobby!!! You're dead! I'm going to eat you for lunch!”—Okay, I was about to make the shrieking Tyrannosaurus Rex sounds, but it doesn't come off too well over the internet. I'll let you imagine it for yourself. [Imagining...]
Transformative. Transentiation. Transformagatory. Transformulation. Transfermentation. Transpiration. Okay, that was a real word. Anyway, you get the picture.
- Carly
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