TV Writers Are Sick

I feel bad for characters in TV shows. Many of these characters are just nice people who love their families, go to work, mind their own business. However, it is their extreme misfortune to be in a TV show where they are subject to the sadistic whims of TV writers. Take Ted Mosby, from How I Met Your Mother. He's a good guy, smart, socially adept, emotionally balanced, courteous to others. But then you get the writers, who can't resist injecting a bit of insecurity and effeminate behavior into his life. “This guy, Ted, is too normal,” they say. “Let's make him wear make-up...for men.” “I know, let's make him a clingy third wheel to his two best friends, as if he's always tagging along like some sort of loser. Let's make him unable to let go of the idea of being with Robin. Let's just make him look pitiful. After all, no one has the right to be that charismatic. We aren't.”

“Hey, Marshall's a nice guy with two loving parents and a beautiful wife. Let's kill his dad.”

“Jim and Pam's relationship is too stable. Let's send Jim off to set up a company in another city, put him in a stressful situation, and make him yell at Pam so that we can make both their lives harder. My marriage is falling apart; why should they have it so easy?”

Whether it be to boost ratings, lengthen the life of the series, or for pure twisted amusement, these TV writers will be hacking away at TV characters' lives with the same destructive glee of a sociopath with a chainsaw.

My advice to anyone in a TV show: Run. Runaway fast. Those TV writers are out to get you. Stick around long enough and, no matter how nice you are, no matter how much you love your family, no matter how hard you try to be a good person, they will destroy your life. It's clear that TV writers have some type of innate vendetta against TV characters. So flee now, escape the show if you possibly can. It can only get worse.

- Carly