The Atheist

If you're the type of person who likes to say, "Ha ha, I was right," don't be an atheist. Because if atheists do turn out to be right, well...there isn't gonna be a lot of talking.

Atheists are always going to get the short end of the stick. I mean, what do they have to look forward to? First of all, they've got the impending doom of a nothingness existence hunting them till death. And what comforting words can they offer someone at death's door?

“Goodbye, darling. Goodbye forever. And though this is our final parting, you will always be in my heart...until I die. And then, I will remain in someone else's heart...until human kind has been depleted and the last living soul carries the memory of every human life in his heart, and, at death, he becomes one with the earth, thus uniting the memory of mankind with the mother of our existence.” Okay, I have to admit, that is a pretty beautiful destiny.

But let's say Christians do turn out to be right? They're all gonna be like, “See, I told you so.” Or if Jews are right, they're gonna be like, “How'd'ya like me now!” Or even Buddhists will be like, “Who said they didn't believe in karma?” But if atheists turn out to be right, what are they gonna say?

Nothing. Because they'll be dead.

So wrap your head around this: If atheists turn out to be right about our existence, no one will ever know it.

- Carly